Feel
by Tragedy Tay
Summary: So he's over Summer" "He wants to be..." Companion piece to Touch.


AN: For everyone that wanted me to continue. This just kept going...it's longer then I wanted it to be. It's also fluffier.

Summary: "So he's over Summer?" "He wants to be..." Companion piece to Touch. Make sure to read that first. They can't stay apart forever...

Pairing: What do you think?

Disclaimer: What do you think?

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

He can't do this. He can't, he won't, he never wanted to in the first place.

She's just so _beautiful_.

So amazing. So Summer. And he honestly cannot help it. She just keeps showing up, and she looks so _sad _every time she comes, and he wants to make her feel better. And if sex does that, then far be it from him to hold it back. Except, she never really looks happy later. She doesn't look like anything.

She just looks numb. A shell.

He's willing to take any tiny piece of herself that she's willing to give him, but this is too much. No, actually, it's not too much. It's not _enough_. It's not enough to be able to touch her, but not to _touch _her.

And that makes no sense, but that seems to be the fashion these days.

He just wants her to be happy. That's all. Preferably, happy with him, but mostly just happy.

He'd asked her about it once. When they'd just started dating.

He'd asked her, "What makes you happy, Summer?" She hadn't answered, she just smiled, laughed, and kissed him.

Even then he'd worried that there weren't enough happy things in her life.

Zach doesn't make her happy. Zach makes her nothing. Summer's mindset isn't too hard to figure out; Seth causes pain, and Zach dulls it.

Zach doesn't _get it_. And he hates that. Zach doesn't understand, Seth loves Summer. That's how it works, that how it's _always_ worked. Seth loves Summer. He _does_. Zach had asked him if he loved her, and he'd lied. Alex had asked him, and he hadn't said anything. But he does. Every relationship either of them has tried to have has fallen apart, or is a sham, because Seth. Loves. Summer.

But it's never been Seth and Summer.

It's been Seth, Summer, and Anna. Seth, Summer, and Summer's dad.

The school. Marissa. Ryan. Alex. Zach.

A boat...

Anyway, now it's Seth, Summer, and A Stupid Fling. A stupid, stupid fling, that shouldn't be happening. It needs to end. She's using him as a bandage to cover up the gaping hole he left in her, and it's not healthy.

He really wishes he could stop wanting her. Stop needing her. Stop loving her. And just let her go.

But she keeps coming. Even more now. At first it was once a week, now it's every day. She can't keep holding herself off from him. She's not even doing well at it right now.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He saw her cry today.

She was in his room, and they were doing...what they usually did, and, well...

She'd tasted just like a popsicle.

Grape.

And it was hilarious.

He pulled back for a second, trying not to flinch when she stared at him blankly like always, and he saw that her tongue was laced with purple around the edges. And he laughed. He'd laughed hard, for at least a minute. And when he looked back at her, Summer was staring at him. She looked devestated. She looked like the world was cracking into pieces again. But she was _feeling_ something.

He winced when he saw the tears start to fall out of her eyes, widened to twice their usual size. He watched one begin to roll down her cheek.

He kissed it.

She kissed him.

And it the moment ended, and Seth wasn't sure if it actually happened, or if he imagined it.

He's not stupid, he knows she won't ever talk about it. He knows that she's not about to proclaim her love of Cohen, and jump into his arms. But something changed. It wasn't the same. Before she left, she looked at him. Not through him, _at_ him. She kissed him goodbye. She let him hug her. Her hand brushed his, and she kissed him softly, breathing slowly. Just for a second.

But it was enough.

Maybe it doesn't have to end. Maybe he can keep waiting until she's ready.

After all, Chachi and Joanie got it right in the end.


End file.
